


SeaStars

by NightCourtStarLight



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Feysand child, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-08-01 17:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16289147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightCourtStarLight/pseuds/NightCourtStarLight
Summary: Cassiopeia has always been in love with her best friend, the Lordling of the Summer Court, Arroyo. Time is running out for Cass to express her feelings! The Bay Festival is coming, and Arroyo will soon be engaged to someone else. Will Cass be able to tell him how she really feels? Or will he have to find out for himself?*Most Characters and Settings belong to Sarah J. Maas*





	1. Pre

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my first fics and I've been working on it for a longgggg time. Please leave feedback, I know there are some errors so bare with me, but I hope you enjoy!
> 
> *There is a scene of an attempted rape coming in the series, beware if you are sensitive to that subject, I will give a warning a chapter before the one its in.*

The library was filled with light as much as it was with dust and ancient books. One of the walls was nothing but blue and clear windows, and beyond, endless sea. 

Arroyo shifted at my back, folding his legs so that they could better prop up the thick atlas he was reading. I was leaning against him, back to back with my own novel. My light blue skirts pooled around me as I flicked another page in the book. 

“Ready for tomorrow?” I ask, turning to look at him over my shoulder. His lips part a bit as his eyes flicker over the page. I watch as his eyebrows slowly gather in the center of his forehead. It seems he’s come across something particularly interesting. My heart stutters at that. His thinking face was a favorite of mine. So much concentration and contemplation. 

“Is it too late to back out?” He murmurs back and turns the page. 

No, I want to say, it’s not too late. You don’t have to do this. I bite back the words and offer a measly “Haha, don’t worry Ar. You’ll be fine,” 

He straightens himself and turns to face me, an agitated glare simmering in his eyes. Damn, was I that unconvincing? Couldn’t I manage to be at least a little bit believable? 

Apparently not, since my heart wasn’t in it. In all honesty, there was nothing I wanted more than for him to just cancel the rite altogether. 

For his sake and mine. 

“It’s going to be horrible,” he sighs and tosses away the atlas. The poor thing slides across the floor and into a table leg with a dejected thump. “I hate parties,” he grinds out and folds his arms. 

“You’re acting like a spoiled toddler,” I tisk and flick him on the shoulder. 

“Ow hey!” He halfheartedly swats my hand away, looking despondent. “I am not! I’m just nervous. And a little jealous if I'm being honest,” he continued “You’ll have tons of fun. You’re an amazing dancer. I, on the other hand, have hands for feet,”

“You’ll have fun to Ar. Just don’t overthink it.” I hum in the most reassuring voice I can manage. Arroyo has known this day was coming for 20 years now. The Choosing festival, a rite of passage that comes only when the Lordling of Summer turns 20. The ideal age for the lordling to begin his official duties as a soon to be high lord of summer. So instead of lordling lessons and sitting in on meetings, its diplomatic missions, and running meetings. In addition, he will oversee the runnings of the court like budgets and abroad relations too. Though I hate to see him in so much distress over the situation, I’m excited for him. No one is a better fit to succeed High Lord Tarquin then Arroyo. 

“I hate parties, can’t dance and will be the center of attention,” he deadpanned, shoulders slumping in resignation. I wrap my arm around his shoulder and give him a reassuring pat. “Am I missing anything?” 

“That you’ll be picking a wife?” I add. The words taste bitter as they leave my mouth. I don't know what aggravates me more. The fact that he’s picking a wife tomorrow and I know it won't be me, or the fact that even though I know this information, my heart still twists at the thought of him marrying someone else. But at the end of the day, I just want him to make the right choice for himself. I want him to be with someone he can trust and rely on and love.

The sigh he releases must come from the deepest bowels of his soul since he seems to deflate completely at the thought. “ Yes,” he says “There’s that.”

“You know who you're going to pick right?” Though the words leave an ache in my chest, I manage to push them out past my teeth and lips.

“Yea,” He starts slowly, a small smile blooming on his lips like a new dawn. “I think I do,” 

I couldn't help the small tug upwards on my own lips at the sight. That secret smile has been flashing across his face since the day he met the female he’s undoubtedly thinking about. Lori, a nobleman's daughter from Meridian, another city in the court. She came a few years ago when I was 14 and Arroyo was 16, on the grounds of studying with Arroyo and his tutors. As soon as she showed up at the first dinner he was captivated by her sugar sweet smile and long lashes, but his shyness held him back and gave off the image of being aloof. 

Thus, the next few years of our friendship was spent with him fawning over Lori and giving me a full detailed explanation of their romantic encounters. I, on the other hand, was trying not to think too deeply into where Arroyo would sneak off to in the middle of the night and trying to ignore the strong scent of Lori that would cling to his skin in the morning. 

For the first few weeks of her being here, I was simply jealous of the attention he was giving her, but that quickly shifted into something else altogether. It had to have been the second week of her living in the palace when she approached me in the library.

I had been sitting in a corner, curled up with a book and a glass of iced tea when I heard light footfalls approach me. When I looked up Lori towered over me. An ugly sneer replaced her usual grin as she looked down her nose at me as if I was a bug she couldn't wait to crush. 

“Cass isn't it” her haughty voice is tight as she asks the obvious question

“Yea… we’ve been hanging out all week-”

“Anyway, I need to ask you to do something for me,” she interrupted with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Yea-uh… sure, what do you need-”

“I need you to stay away from Arroyo,” she hissed. Her eyes flashed with so much fury it stunned me for a moment.

“Ex-excuse me?” I stammer. Lori had been pleasant enough to be around all week! All smiles and good-tempered jokes. What brought this on? 

“You heard me! I said stay away from him,”

“No! What gives you the right to ask that of me. I don't take orders from you,”

“Listen to me and listen to me closely Cassiopeia,” she spits out my name as if it burns her tongue “ You may be a lordling in the night court, but here you're nothing but a miserable, pathetic, wrench. Know your place and stay there,” she sneers and glares daggers at me. I recoil for a moment at the insult before straightening my shoulders, slamming my book shut and standing up. 

I bear my teeth at her as is his “I’m not one to be submissive to someone as spoiled as yourself. Especially over a few sharp words,” 

Lori pauses for a moment, doubt starting to cloud her hazel eyes. But after a blink, it clears and her fury comes back at full force as she snarls. “Fine, there are other ways of getting rid of you,” she turns and starts strutting towards the door. I try to bite back the words as they fight to get out, but eventually, my fear-filled curiosity wins over.

“What do you mea-,”

“I know you’re in love with Arroyo, can't have that now can we,” 

I stiffen at that. If there was anything my mother and family taught me, it was never let someone control you. Never let someone take advantage and walk all over you. My immediate reaction had been to shout and to beg for her not to tell anyone. But it passes. I train my expression into a look of cool indifference.

“Are you sure your information is correct?” I say evenly, careful not to show any tells. Things like these were like playing cards. Showing your hand guarantees you lose the game. 

Her eyes flicker around my face for a moment. Be still, I swear I hear my Aunt Nesta hiss in my head. I relax my hands at my side, but too late. Lori’s eyes land on my clenched fist before flickering back up to my face. A fang filled smile spreads across her face as she meets my gaze again.

“Oh yes, quite certain,” is all she says before turning around and gliding out of the room, skirts sweeping behind her. 

I instantly release a sigh of relief. Her presence is a suffocating as a tarp on a fire. My moment of relief quickly passes though. Fire spreads across my neck and back as a wave of anxiety washes over me. Aunt Nesta would be disappointed in how that conversation ended. I take a deep breath. No matter. I gather up my books from the ground and make my way to the front of the library. Best to find Arroyo now before all hell breaks loose. 

As luck would have it that day, Arroyo had gone away to meet with a few guildsmen in the city with High Lord Tarquin and wouldn't be back until dinner. We were halfway through the meal. High Lady Opal was telling us a story about her exploring an underwater cave when she was around our age. As Lori flipped between politely laughing at the most opportune time and glaring daggers at me from across the table, Arroyo and his father strode into the room. Ar took the seat at my left. I swear Lori could have had steam coming from her ears. It was quite an enjoyable sight. But my amusement was short-lived because as soon as dinner was over, Lori laced her fingers through Arroyo’s and pulled him into the hallway. 

I followed them into the fall, the picture of grace and leisure. A beautifully crafted mask to hide the anxiety rising in me. Lori took a step closer to Ar, placing A delicate hand on his chest and rising up on her toes to whisper something in his ear. Though she didn't really try to whisper. Fea all the way in the Night Court could hear each word as she whispered.

“I have something to tell you, it's about Cassiopeia,” An eyebrow ticked higher on his forehead as his eyes swept over to meet mine. 

Why are you glaring at Lori?

I jumped at the suddenness of my brothers' voice in my head. I hadn't even realized he had come to stand next to me. 

She’s going to tell Arroyo I have feelings for him

Are you going to stop her?

I don’t know if my pride will let me.

So you’d be ok if she tells him?

...No, I’m not ready yet. 

Then I’d put my pride aside and stop her. 

You want me to let her manipulate me?

I want you to wait, play your cards right, and strike at a better time. That time is not tonight though. 

I huffed and moved away from him towards Lori and Arroyo. He has a point. Strike when the time is optimum. For now, lie in wait. 

I’ll play your game Lori, but not forever. 

“A word, Lori,” I hummed, not daring to look at Arroyo. 

“Of Course Cass,” she beamed a sharp smile at me. 

She followed me down the hall and into a small study. As soon as the door clicked shut I turned to face her, steeling myself for her poisoned words. 

“I’m not going to stay away from Arroyo-”

She interrupted me with a click of her tongue “Ah ah. Stay out of my way if you want your pathetic secret to stay hidden.” I grind my teeth, not bothering to hide my anger now. 

“Now nod if you understand,”

Lie in wait 

I just a short, curt nod, suppressing a snarl all the while. 

“That’s a good girl,” she hissed. And with that, she turned and strode out the room. Like a warlord who knew he’d won the battle. 

 

I shook my head at the memory. That was a long time ago. For a while after that, I was just seething with rage every time I saw Lori with Ar, but as time went on I found I couldn't bring myself to care about Lori and her pettiness. It wasn't worth wasting time thinking about. 

Arroyo stood and pulled me to my feet.

“Come on,” he said “Let's not stay in the library all day,”

“I don't mind the library,” 

All he did was laugh as he started moving towards the door, pulling me along with him. Maids darted in and out of various rooms as we passed by. Their white skirts moving the sand around on the floor as they went. The palace was always full of sand, no matter home much anyone sweeps. 

Ar broke out into a run as we neared the front hall. Rooms painted vibrant shades of blues and corals speed by as I let my feet carry me away with Arroyo. He nimble sidestepped a butler with a large stack of dinner plates as I bounded over a maid scrubbing the floors on her knees with a brush. I only realized he skidded to a stop when I ran into his back.

“Arroyo where are we going?” I huffed as he turned left down another hall and started back up at full speed. How can he keep up this pace!?

“The docks!” he shouted over his shoulder. I should have known. When we reached the end of the hall he pushed open a set of glass doors and waited for me to dart out under his arm. For a moment, I just breathed the sea air deep into my lungs. The doors lead to a stone patio. The sound of the waves crashing on the rocky shore was almost deafening. Here the docks were merely down the hill. I turned to look back at Ar but realized he was already halfway down the hill. Calderon that boy was fast!

I took off after him, careful not to trip over the rocks or slip on loose sand. The sun glimmering off the water was a blinding sight. When I reached him he was talking to the head Shipman on the dock. 

“Now Arroyo, High Lord Tarquin said he didn't want you out on the water today. You have a lot to do apparently. Oh hello, Cass! I didn't know you were here,” Marley crooned in his weathered, deep voice.

I beamed and offered a small wave as Arroyo said “It will only be for an hour, Marley. I’m restless. The sea is calling me!”

“I don't think-”

“He was just in a meeting with one of Tarquin's advisors about the festival. I can assure you he's on task Marley. He just needs to clear his head a bit,” I interrupt, hoping my little speech sounds a refined and reassuring as it did in my head. Marly studies the two of us for a moment before giving a single nod and stepping aside. 

“One hour. That it. Any longer and I’ll call your father myself,”

“Yes sir, thank you, sir,” I hum and sweep into a curtsy even though it is not needed. I tugged on Arroyo's sleeve hard enough to pull him into a slight bow too. 

Marley beamed with pride at the gesture and continued past us, off to give another set of teens a hard time.

“You really must work on your people skills Ar,”

“Why do that when I have you to get me out of trouble?”

My cheeks warm at that, but I lease a sigh and follow him towards his boat. It's a modest little ship. All golds, whites, and blues. You wouldn't know it’s the ship of a lordling unless you saw him tending to it as he does. The SeaStar, the side of the ship read, affectionately named after me. He was up the gangplank in one bound and at the ropes holding the boat to the dock in another. I went over and untied the other side of the boat while Ar loosed the sail. He paced around the ship, tinkering with a few other things that I didn't know enough about to help with myself. Instead, I went below deck and got his case of maps. Every map made of the summer court was in that case. If you were looking for a specific one, an ancient one, or even a magic one, Arroyo probably had it. 

I put them on the bench next to the wheel and take a seat. Ar bounds up the stairs and grabs onto the wheel. In no time we are pulling out of the docks and into open water. 

“Where are we going today and did we replenish the snack barrel?” I ask as I start leafing through the maps. 

“Just a little trip around the city to the crescent bay. And yes, the barrel is full,” I grin and hop over the railing onto the lower deck. In two-step I get to the large barrel we use to disguise snacks on the ship. The lid pops off with a cloud of dust. I reach in and snatch two bags of seaweed chips. 

When I finally get back to the wheel I plop back down on the bench, swing my feet up onto the railing, and toss the second bag of chips at Arroyo. He catches the bag with one hand in one movement and tears open the seal with his teeth in another. 

“Orion is going to be mad we left him,” I hum as I toss a chip into my mouth. 

“He was the one who didn't want to go to the library with us in the first place,” He tisks as he turns the wheel to the port side. “And feet off the rail, you know I just restained the wood”

I huff but remove my legs. The water is a beautiful deep blue, foaming white as The boat cuts through the wave. Colorful fish dart in and out of the coral sunk beyond the surface of the water. There was nothing like this in the night court. Though we did border the ocean, the waves were nothing more than inky black. It was too cold or any fish any color other than grey, black, and dark green, to dwell in the waves. It was nice to see some new wildlife. 

I let out a lazy yawn and stretch out on the bench as Arroyo begins whistling a sea jaunty tune.  
“You’re like a lazy cat,” Ar throws a smirk over his shoulder at me. I roll my eyes and continue to stretch 

“Cats live the best lives. I wish I were one. No meeting or deadlines or-,”

“Balls or parties or fancy dinners,” Arroyo interrupted with a grumble. 

“Arroyo for the last time you will be fine.” I sit up and use the voice my Mother gives my Father when he suggest a stupid idea he and Uncle Cassian thought up. “You only have to dance once and I know you know the steps. I didn't spend hours practicing with you for nothing! You do well at the dinners. There is literally nothing to worry about!” Arroyo merely grumbles and turns back to the wheel.

I’m just getting comfortable when another voice assaults my eardrums.

Where are you? Orion asks through our bond.

On a boat 

Are you with Ar?

Of course.

Ooooooooooo

Stop. I hiss back 

You’re running out of time Cass. You need to tell him the truth.

“No!”

“No what! What's wrong!” Arroyo spins around on his heels, suddenly alert.

“Oh uh… nothing. Just talking to Orion” I stammer and crinkle the empty chip bag in my hand. 

I-I mean not yet. I can’t. 

It’s now or never Cass…

I know…

Silence follows and I feel the end of the bond grow cold. He's drawn up his mental shield. I know it’s now or never. I know that in two days time Ar will be engaged to Lori. I know if I don’t tell him how I feel I’ll always be saddled with what could have been. This argument is all I've been thinking about since ar turned 20. But how can I tell him? We've been friends so long. I- it would be weird for me to suddenly confess my love. All of our shared memories, moments, would be spoiled. I pull my arm over my eyes and heave a sigh. I can't risk it. I can't risk losing him.

So you can risk losing him to Lori though?

I snap up my mental shields as the intruding voice of Orion rings through my head. Damn him. Damn me and my letting my mental guard drop. 

“We're here,” I jump at the sound of Ar’s voice. I wander over to the railing and watch as he pulls on the rope connected to the anchor. It plunges into the water, making fish swim away from it. 

The sight of the city from the ship is magnificent. The crescent bay forms a perfect half circle, and beyond, the city spirals out, towering higher and higher until it reaches the sandstone castle at the top. Kayaks and canoes dip and weave through the shallows, their woven traps full of fish. Children splash around near the shoreline.

“Ready for a little swim?” Ar calls up to me before tugging his shirt off. I bit my lip, hard. Cauldron, he doesn't even know how much power he has over me. Somehow though, I manage to keep my face neutral. 

“Ar it wouldn't be wise” but my reprimand is too late. He dives into the cerulean water like a dolphin. The water parts for him as we resurfaces. He runs his fingers through his curly white hair.

“Come on Cass, you know it's dangerous to swim alone. By not getting in your putting me at risk”

“Please! You swim so well I'm pretty sure you're part shark”

“I know you're hot. You're sweating buckets.” he quips as he starts doing backstrokes in a loose circle. I bead of sweat trails down my back, sending shivers up my spine. 

“No Ar” I roll my eyes at him.

“I didn't want to have to do this Cass, but you leave me no choice,”

I open my mouth to ask him what he's going on about just as he raises his arms and sends a spray of water at me. I'm drenched in an instant.

“You're dead” I give him a wicked smile as I shuck off my wet clothes and do a cannonball into the water. 

The rest of the day is spent in a splashing war. My pitiful water powers only help me so much, and at one part Ar tosses me into the air with a massive wave. I’ll get back at him later I vow. 

But for now, I just want to live in this moment. This perfect bliss right before everything will come crashing down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cass finally tries to tell Arroyo about her feelings.

The stars were swirling around me as I lay on the beach. The smell of lemon and sea hung heavily in the air, briefly reminding me of home; if it weren’t for the sound of the waves crashing nearby. Summer and Night combined; it was my favorite thing. 

And next to me, lay Arroyo. His hand was tucked behind his soft, curly, white hair as he lazily stretched out on the sand. His eyes were turned to the heavens, flickering from constellation to constellation as I pointed them out. The queen, hydra, Libra, cancer. The moonlight lit his eyes, almost from within. A pale blue glow, like a pearl. His mouth was set in relaxed contemplation as I explained the stories of the stars. Their light revealed his warm chocolate colored skin as we both gazed up at the stars. 

It’s in moments like these that I love him most. When we aren't Lordlings. When there's no one forcing us to be or do something we don't want to. It's just Cass and Ar. A dancer and a sailor. 

In another universe at least. 

The thought hits me as suddenly as a storm at sea. 

I need to tell him.

I need to tell him while we are still Cass and Ar. I need to tell him before they place crowns on our heads; before the world shatters and comes back together in a new, skewed image. 

I need to tell him now. 

"Ar," I start. My voice quakes more than I hoped it would, but at least I managed to say his name. 

"Yea," he mumbles, not taking his eyes off of the sky.

"I need to tell you something," My voice wavered like a bridge made of rope. 

"What is it?" He shifts on his side so he can face me. His eyes hold the blue moon as they meet mine. A finger slowly comes up and brushes my cheek. 

It’s sad, he doesn't know how such a simple touch makes my heart swell and shatter all in one. 

"You had sand on your face," his hand settles back on the ocean of sand between us. 

"I love you," I say in a whoosh of air. It feels like I've been holding my breath all my life and only just now decided to breathe.

"I know," he laughed with his thick summer court accent. "I love you too, that's why we are friends, " 

" No -no I mean I... L-"

"Arroyo! I've been looking all over for you. Your father wants to see you," a maid trumped down the sand covered pathway and called. Arroyo started to rise and pulled me and my shattered heart up with him.

"I'm sorry we didn't have more time today,” he said while pulling me into a bone-crushing hug "We’ll have more time next time I see you,"

"But Ar who knows when that will be!” The panic was evident in my voice as I grab his wrist. “Tomorrow is the Bay Festival. And after that, you'll be engaged! Which is why I have to tell you-" my heart was stumbling around in my chest as I thought of how I wouldn’t ever be able to see him like this, as my best friend, again after tonight. Everything will change so quickly from here. 

"Now look who's getting freaked out. Just last week you were telling me I was worrying over nothing. What are you worrying about?” An amused smile broke over his face as he raised an eyebrow at me.

“ I- I don’t want to lose you Ar,” the truth of that sentence was painful enough hurt. My chest ached with all the emotion I tried to put into that single sentence. 

“Don’t worry Cass, I’m trusting what you said. Everything will be fine. You should follow your own advice,” he laughs and clasps my hands in his. “Plus, I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.I’m not losing you and you're not losing me Queen” You can’t get rid of me that easily,” That nickname he’s called me for years...will he continue to after tomorrow? His gaze was full of mischief, filled with the memory of the first time I said that to him. When I was drowning. 

 

The sun had been blazing they day. Ar and Orion had run off to play Mackerel in the ocean. I had stayed firmly on land where it was safe. Where I was, I was not at risk of being swallowed up whole by the earth. I couldn't swim, but my brother, on the other hand, was an excellent swimmer. He took to water like a fish. A gene he got from mom. But I didn't get that gene. Water frightened me quite a bit, which made our trips to The Summer Court quite unnerving back then. Now that I think about it, I couldn’t have been any older than 10 at the time. It was one of our first times coming to this new, strange, water covered court. 

I guess I shouldn't complain though. Orion is terrified, and I mean terrified, of heights. The irony is horrid since he has wings. So going to the dawn court was ( is ) no picnic for him. I think it all stemmed from the night Uncle Cassian had dropped us from thousands of feet in the air. He had caught us mere feet from smashing into the ground. Needless to say, mother didn't want us flying with him anymore. He claimed a bug got in his eye, but I think he was trying to make it a practical joke. I think that had been when I was 4 and he was 6. 

But that day I was sitting on the beach, watching how Arroyo glided through the water like a shark as he tipped the opposing teams boat over like a pro. That's when a set of arms had snatched my waist and hauled me into the air. 

I remember screaming and laughing for Arroyo's friends to put me down, thinking it was just a game and they would. But as they carried me closer to the water my laughter turned to cries. They carried on with what they thought would be a funny prank. 

They neared the rocky edge that dipped into a deep pit of coastal water. The drop was slight. Maybe 10 feet at the most. 

But I didn't know how to swim. 

Before I could beg them one more time to stop, I was lifted off the shoulder of the brute carrying me and swung into the endless sea. 

I remember thinking the water felt too cold to be that of the summer court. Like a thousand knives piercing every inch of my skin at once. The thought was fleeting though. While the water forced itself down my throat and into my lungs, my brain filled with smoke and ash and soon, everything faded to black.

I awoke to a pounding headache and hands clasped over my chest, pumping hard. Water surged up my throat, making me cough and spit until my chest ached and my throat was raw. A cool hand cupped my cheek and turned my head so I wouldn't drown all over again in my own fluids. Another hard pump had more water rushing out of my lungs and seeping into the sand. The sounds around me were muffled, it took a moment to realize it was someone yelling. 

It took even longer to realize it was Arroyo. 

I slowly blinked my eyes open and beheld the hazy sight of Arroyo kneeling on the ground in front of me, but his back was to me. He faced a group of his friends. A tremble shook his leath body. After another hazy moment, I realized it was fury that radiated off of the usually calm lordling. 

To this day I cannot recall ever seeing Arroyo so furious. He's always done well to keep his temper in check. Being cool, calm, and collected has always been his approach to most situations. So seeing him lash out like that was a surprise.

I watched as his fist clenched and unclenched in fury as he yelled “Who did this? Who?”

One of the tanned skinned boys stepped forward, looking uneasy. “Ar it was just a joke man. We didn't know she couldn't swim,” the male said while rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“I don’t care!” Arroyo yelled “Don't ever do something like that to Cass again!” an angry red flush bloomed over Arroyo's warm brown skin. 

“That’s enough Arroyo,” I rasped, slowly circling my fingers around his wrist. This made him pause and turn back to me. The fury boiling in his eyes slowly drained away leaving only concern and malice towards the males. I watched his expression soften completely as he leaned over me and brushed a stray hair out of my face. 

“Cass,” He whispered, “I thought I’d never see you again,” 

“Can't get rid of me that easily,” I rasp. It appears his friends are completely forgotten as he gently helps me up and slings my arm over his shoulder for support.

 

I watch his retreating form as he makes his way back to the sandstone castle. I was too late. Anger flared inside of me for an instant before being extinguished. Anger at myself, for doing this to myself. If I just stopped being scared sooner. If I had been brave. 

But I can't dwell on what ifs. If I do I’ll go insane.

Suddenly an arm was wrapping around my shoulder and pulling me into a familiar warm side. My brothers soothing smoke scent fills me as the first tear fell. 

“You told him?” his voice is barely above a whisper.

“I tried. He wouldn't listen,” I grimace at how dead my voice sounds. 

“I’m sorry Cass,”

“Me too. It’s all my fault,”

“Don’t say that Cass,” Orion sighs and turns to look at me. 

“I only say what’s true-” 

“You’ve known Arroyo as long as I have and if he still hasn’t seen how spectacular you are then he’s blind. I’d rather you be happy all the time Cass. Not just when he smiles at you a certain way. There are plenty of males with pretty eyes back home in the Night Court” His tone was gentle, but firm. I can’t blame him for saying this. Orion has been my biggest support system throughout my whole life. He’s always kept me on the right path and told me what i need to hear, not what I want to hear. And I love him for that.

“Let's get you back to the palace.” he started again after a moment of silence “We can leave before the festival tomorrow if you-”

“No, let's stay for the festival. We should still support Ar. It’s the day he comes one step closer to being the High Lord. He will want us there,” Though I was hurt by all that had happened, I knew I couldn't abandon my friend like that. 

“As you wish,” Ori murmured with a sigh and winnowed us back to the palace. Ori gave my shoulder a final squeeze before turning down the hall to go back to his room. 

I scrub my hands over my face as I push open my own door and shuffle inside. My maid Tumina sits in a chair by the window, working on her needlepoint. 

“Hey T,” I mumble as I kick off my sandals. 

“Hello dear,” she says without looking up. When she finally does tear her focused gaze away from her work she turned her assessing gaze onto me. “Oh dear, what's wrong?” 

“Nothing-” I stop myself short there. It took too much effort to conceal the truth from Tumina at this point. She already knew my feelings for Ar anyway. “I tried to tell Ar that I’m in love with him,”

Instantly, Tumina perked up. She stood up from her chair and came over to brush her weathered hands over my arms. Sand fell away at the contact. “And?” she exclaimed.

“He didn't understand what I was saying. He thought I just meant as a friend, and then he was called away by a maid because his father wanted to see him.” 

“Oh Cass, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine. I'm just ready for this festival to be over so I can go home,” And with that pathetic thought, flopped onto my bed like a damsel in a fairy tale. Tumina huffed and pulled me back up to my feet. 

“Since when do you give up so easily. What happened to the Cassiopeia that went after what she wanted and would let no one tell her otherwise?” Tumina folded her dark arms and leveled a disapproving look at me. I frowned and sat on the edge of the bed. 

I knew she was right. With anything else, I’d keep going. But… I am so tired. I’ve played this game for too long. Perhaps it was finally time to rest. Finally, time to just let something not go exactly my way. 

“You can participate in the festival tomorrow,” Her sudden statement made me pause. 

“What are you talking about. I can’t-” 

“All I’m saying is you’ve gone to all the required meetings and balls to be eligible. Maybe not then as a contestant, but you're still eligible,”

The way the Bay Festival works is there are 15 contestants that participate in the rite. The Bay Festival actually happens yearly, but it is only when the Lordling of the court turns 20 that the Rite is held. While the festival is usually a celebration of food, dance, and music, this year it will be different. The Lordling is to not only take up a lot of the more challenging High Lord duties, but to choose a partner to rule beside him. It’s a beautiful ceremony and an honor to participate in. Every girl in the summer court, and even quite a few from other courts enter their names into the drawing to be picked. There was an especially large turn out this year since much of Pyrithian believes Arroyo to be the most handsome Lordling on the continent. Much to Orion’s dismay. His poor ego can't handle being only second best. 15 females of every background from 18-25 years old are chosen at random. It used to be only soon to be noble ladies like Lori, but High Lord Tarquin opened it up to the public. 

“There are no open spots-”

“I’m sure Tarquin wouldn't mind one more. He loves you,” Tumina interrupted. “Cass, I know you've felt this way for the Lordling for a long time, but why not go down in a way of glory and fun. You have nothing to lose, and look, I’ll even help.”

“T I don’t think,” weariness pooled in my stomach at the thought. One does not simply participate in the Rite because they can. But another feeling lied there too, curious hope. A dangerous feeling indeed. 

“Or you can make it easy for Lori, and just let her have him.” My lips pinched at that “She fears you Cass and you know it. She knows you hold more weight in his heart that she does” I was silent, letting her words sink in and stew. “I just want you to be happy Cass,” she says as she comes to sit beside me on the bed. 

I sigh and lean into her. She may have a point. If mama was going down, she’d go down in a fit of glory. Plus, what’s the harm in causing some trouble for Lori. “Thanks T,” I mumble as I lay back down, feeling a small smile tug at my lips. And at least this way involved dancing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I think I've said before, I've been agonizing over this fic for a year now, and its really about my journey as a writer. I know Cass seems extremely whinny right now but (hopefully) it will get a lot better due to some major character development. Bare with me through this folks, and as always thank you for reading! <3


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bay festival has arrived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha! you guys thought you wouldn't see me for another 6 months, didn't you! Well jokes on you, I suddenly got my life together. 
> 
> The writing in this part is pretty trash because I wrote it a while ago and for some reason, past me thought it would be a good idea to write it in first person present tense. Don't worry, the next part will be a LOT better.

The next night I found myself pulling on a shimmering white dress beaded with pearls and diamonds and cut into a high low style. The bodice was sleeveless and hugged my waist, while the skirt flared out, barely anything more than gossamer curtains. Tumina has always done a good job picking dresses for me. 

I watched Tumina in the mirror as her skilled fingers wove and twisted my hair into a braided bun. She then grabbed a string of opals and diamonds and strung them around the base of the bun and through the braids. It looked like I had a river of stardust winding through my hair. 

“Thank you, T,”

“Good luck tonight sweetie. And don’t forget to have fun,”

“I will,” I gave her a wink before marching down the sand coated hallway with my head held high. No matter how many times someone swept in this palace the sand moved in like air. 

After herding my brother out of his guest room ( he wouldn't put down the hair mousse ) he winnowed us into the center of the boardwalk. The whole capital city of the summer court was a moderately sized island with white, pink, and even black on the volcanic side, beaches and a complete ring of boardwalks. The festival mainly took place on the beach and boardwalk around the crescent bay. 

My brother and I loved the festival In past years. There was tons of seafood like lobster and shrimp and clams on ice. And sweet desserts. It’s a change from the spicy sometimes fried food of the night court. Plus there were completions and games to participate in. I often found my brother and Arroyo head to head in a game of mackerel. That’s when you have to hit a white ball over a net and it can’t touch the ground. 

My brother and I wandered aimlessly through the labyrinth of stalls. Vendors sold all kinds of things. Sugared fruit in cups, pottery, clothes, books, maps. There was one jewelry stall that caught my eye. On display was a purple diamond and steel bead choker. 

“Ori look,” I grab my brother's wrist and pull him back to my side. His eyebrows hitch higher on his forehead as he catches sight of the choker. 

“Mother would love that,” he says thoughtfully before turning to the vendor and asking the price. Mothers birthday was coming up in a few weeks. This would make the perfect gift. We’ll settle whoever gets to claim it for her latter. 

5 minutes of haggling later, Orion has the choker in a velvet case and slips it into his pack. While he continued to browse the other things the vendor had to offer, I wandered back to the stall bursting with both ancient and new looking maps. 

“Aha studious young maiden I see. What can I interest you in tonight? A map of the world? A golden compass that will point you to your destiny? Or perhaps a book on navigating.” The vendor called to me as I approached the stand. 

“Oh no, I’m not very good with maps…” My words trailed off as my thoughts turned to the sea star docked by the palace. “ but my friend is. Do you have anything new or rare by chance?” 

“Ah, rare you ask… yes, I do in fact. Recently on my travels, I… required a map of the eastern seas” I carefully kept my expression as bored I could. If I showed the vendor how much that was indeed a rare find he’d hike the price up to the heavens. It was rare for anyone to ever travel that far and return. 

“May I see it?” I asked, nonchalantly. The vendor turned to a chest that was sitting behind a table, and after a minute of rummaging, he returned with a marble cylinder. I bit into my cheek as he untwisted the cap and turned it so that a white map slid out into his open palm.   
Without thinking, I reached out to take it, but the vendor snatched it out of my reach. 

“This is an original design by the best map maker on the eastern coast. He retired due to illness many years ago and this was his last piece. It is very valuable.” 

“Will you show me what is shows,” the vendor's lips pinched at my comment but he unfurled the map to show exactly what was expected, only 10 times better. 

Rich dark swirls of ink marred the thick paper. The map was detailed, so much so that it seemed impossible to be accurate. But more than that, the map showed the eastern coast. But not the one I was familiar with. This coast was a foreign as any I’d seen. It took a moment for me to realize, that this wasn't a map of Parithiyan at all. It was one of the eastern continent. No wonder it was o rare and expensive. That treck is perilous. Much of that are wasn't populated and remained untouched by human or fea. 

I finally tore my eyes away from the map and met those of the Vendor, careful to keep my mask of boredom intact. “How much did you say you wanted?”

“200 gold marks.” he sneered. 200 gold marks! That could buy Arroyo a new boat! I bit my cheek but managed to stay composed. 

“Hmmm. For this? I have rare maps already and so does he. You can tell that this one is definitely not worth 200 gold marks. It had water damage here and here, the ink is smeared here and here” I droned on as I pointed out things the would make the map depreciate in any common map collectors eyes, and certainly in Arroyo’s. It seems I have learned something from listening while he talked about his atlases and map collections. After going back and forth with him for a few minutes, I managed to haggle him down to 100 Gold marks, and he threw in an obsidian compass.

Pleased with my purchases, I moved to another stall and was looking at a pair of butter yellow ballet slippers when I caught wind of a conversation between two vendors. 

“The ceremony is about to begin!” I heard a lady chatter from the next stall over. 

“Are you ready?” My brother asked one last time as he came to stand next to me. He pulled out three gold coins and handed them to the vendor while pulling the shoes from my reluctant fingers and placing them in the pack. 

I sigh before straightening my shoulders and lifting my chin.“No, but I’m as ready as I’m gonna get,” I murmur, feining despondence. He began looping his arm through mine before I quickly pulled away. “Go ahead, I’ll catch up. I want to wander around for a few more minutes” 

“Are you sure you don't want me to-”

“No No, I’ll be fine. Go on,” He gave me one last sad smile and a nod of his head before disappearing into smoke and night. A grin broke across my face as I winnowed to the beach where the other contestants were. Orion would surely give me a tongue lashing when we got home, but that hasn't stopped me before. 

A large crowd of people stand surrounding a raised stone platform in the center of the Crescent Bay’s beach. Torches light the space and between them, men with tattoos and drums bang away, creating a deep thumping song. Women and men in white robes bend water to create glimmering arches above our heads. I watch as the water coils and burst into shimmering waterworks. Before the diamond drops hit the ground, they collect and the cycle starts again. 

My heart thumps with the beat of the drum as I come to stand on the platform next to a light brown skinned girl with silvery hair. I give her a small smile, but her face stays blank and anxious. I quickly turn away after that. The circle of girls is small. Almost all 15 are here. They all wear white dresses of various shapes and design. I notice their pristine white hems and notice that mine has already turned an ashy grey-brown. I guess none of them decided to partake in the festivities beforehand. As I look around I realize there is one face I don’t see. 

“What are you doing here?” Lori’s voice hisses next to me. I try not to flinch at the grating sound of it. Of course. Of course, I’m not lucky enough to have her fall suddenly ill and not able to attend the Rite. 

“Well you know I thought it was a lovely night and that I’d love to dance-“

“If you think you have any chance of making Arroyo fall for you here you’re even more pathetic than I thought. What is this, your last ditch effort?” Lori looks down her nose at me. Her lip quirks up into a snarl. 

“You sound a bit scared Lori. Why waste your breath berating me if you think you’ll win so easy,” her silent rage brings a small smile to my own lips. Looks like I’ve hit the nail on the head. “Try not to snarl too much L, it shows your true scales,” 

And in that moment, Lori looks every bit the dragon that she is. She huffs and turns away, apparently done with our battle. 

A hushed whisper falls over the crowd as the drumbeat grows louder and more feverish. They weave and pound a complex song that covers the crowd like a thick blanket. No sound is made other than the drums. 

I nudge my slippers off and nudge them off the platform. My toes sink into the soft little mounds of sand that have blown up onto the platform. Dancing is always better barefoot. The music of this court was so beautiful and unique. While back home the music is twanging and sleepy, dripping honey off of each note, here it’s fast and energetic like a fire or a rock slide. 

But my bliss ended swiftly as Tarquin appeared at the center of the ring dressed in all white with a crown made of shells.

“Welcome all participants to the Pairing ceremony. Tonight our Heir to the Summer court, Arroyo will choose his partner to rule alongside him. As is the tradition in our Noble court, he will dance with his chosen one and present to her a pearl plucked by his fingers from the sea. Let us begin,” The mighty Tarquin's voice boomed out over the crowd. He then walked out of the ring to his throne where High Lady Opal was already waiting for him. 

As he settled into his throne his cool gaze swept over the contestants and landed on mine. I don’t dare drop his gaze. The corner of his mouth quirks ever so slightly as he gives a single nod in his direction. I breathe a sigh of relief and give a slight incline of my head in return. He’s not going to stop me. 

Then he appeared. Arroyo was standing at the center of the archway path that would lead him into the center of the circle. He walked fluidly waving to his subjects cordially with a small shy smile playing on his lips. When he finally made it to the center of the circle his eyes flickered around and caught mine. I could read the question they held as easily as if he spoke it. The only response I give him is a sly wink. The last beat of the drum leaves the whole crowd in silence as we wait for the Lording of summer to signal the start.

With a final flicker of his eyes in my direction, he bows low, showing the signal for the band to start. 

The contestants were the first to start the dance. We moved as one in a circle around him doing a gracefully fluid dance. My feet slip against the cool smooth stone as I spin and dipped in my own partnerless dance.

For me, dancing has always been freeing. Just letting the music carry you, not worrying about precision. Just feeling. 

But tonight, with my thumping heart beating louder than the drums, my movements are less than graceful. I stumbled a few times over my dress and switched between watching Arroyo start his part of the dance and making sure my feet don’t catch on my gown. 

At least it seems I wasn’t the only one struggling. The females who wore heels were managing far worse than I was. Lori, of course, was flawless with her steps. Her silver hair was braided tight to her scalp in two braids with woven emeralds and sapphires. They swayed from side to side as she dipped and spun. 

For a few lines of song Arroyo just stands there, statue still. The only part of him moving is his blue moon eyes as they sweep over us. Then suddenly, he starts his own fierce dance. 

Pride blooms in my chest like a warm fire. His movements are flawless. Every reprimand, tip, and correction he has applies. All those hours in the dark ballroom, ever toe stepped on and stumble were finally paid off.

Our eyes meet once again as he turns and starts dancing towards me. The goofy smile on my face melts off, replaced by one of tentative hope. Small and fragile like a candle flame. His eyes hold mirth, and still that ever-present question. I hold my breath as he draws closer. Sweat drips down the back of my neck, making my hairs stand on end. The drumbeat grows more feverish with every step closer Arroyo gets to me.

The torchlight cast a beautiful glow over his face and makes his features look sharp. The sight stole my breath away. This… this is impossible. Could he really be coming towards me? Is he actually going to choose me? He’s so close. Close enough to touch. I never break eye contact with him as I slowly reach out my hand. All he has to do is grab it. All he has to do is-

His gaze turns sharp and intense as another hand reaches from behind me and clasp his hand in her own. Arroyo grins as he pulls Lori to him, a wickedly triumphant smile paints her lips. I watch as he gains that look of-of wonder. The look he gets when he sees a new map. The look he gets when he watches a sunset. I’ve always longed for him to look at me like that. 

With every twist and spin, they do on their way back to the center of the circle Arroyo stabs a pick of ice further into my heart. They dance together as if they've done it a thousand times. 

Perhaps they had.

Perhaps this was always how it was meant to be. 

I stumble in my line as the dance comes to a close. Arroyo dips Lori low. When he rightens her, he sinks down onto one knee and presents the pearly. A dreamlike smile plastered over his face. She bats her eyelashes at him and places a fist over her heart before inclining her head to symbolize her acceptance.

I watch as he quickly stands and envelopes her into his arms. The crowd erupted into cheers and applause. Water burst overhead as my heart sinks into my stomach. I drop into a low curtsy with all the other unlucky contestants. 

I should have known. I should have realized he wasn't looking at me at all. He was looking at the person behind me, Lori. I should have known he wouldn't pick me. If he didn’t last night what could have possibly changed since then. I was a fool for coming here and expecting the impossible. 

As I straighten, listening to the music's final cords, I notice High Lord Tarquin staring at me. An odd expression on his face.

For a moment it looks like disappointment. But the look is fleeting as he stands up. 

“Thank you all for participating in this rit. Your contribution will not go unnoticed and it was an honor to meet each and every one of you,” Arroyo’s voice booms out over the crowd, strong and orotund.

I spare one last look at Arroyo before dropping my gaze back to the ground, feeling tears sting my eyes. He doesn't look at me again. 

And with that, the new happy couple ran off into the night, hands clasped and smiles broad, probably back to the castle. 

The other girls dispersed into the crowd, a few of them crying another, hissing in anger.

I-I just wanted to go home. I walk through the crowd feeling drained until a set of familiar arms wrap around my shoulder. Orion wordlessly winnows us home.

We reappear in my bedroom in the Manor back home in the Night Court. In an instant, I’m slumped on my bed, face in hand. I'm not surprised at the outcome. But it still hurt, because for that one moment, that one moment of hope, I thought he was reaching for my hand.

But I also felt lighter, like a weight was finally lifted off my shoulders. I was free, that had been the end. He has chosen and that's that. 

I take a deep breath and slowly exhale “I guess that's the end of that,” I whisper into the open air.

“Yea, but care to explain why you did that in the first place?” Orion mumbles back, voice just tired and heavy. "I don't get why you never tell me about your plots,"

“You would have tried to stop me. I just needed closure.” I whisper 

"And did you get it?" he turned those bright blue questioning eyes on me. 

"Yes...I think so," I said slowly, carefully testing the words.

"So... that's the end of it. You can let him go and move on now right? No dwelling, only progressing forward." He sounded so sure, so resolute that this was really the end. It gave me a bit of strength. If Ori thought I could beat this it had to be true. 

“Well,” I sigh, trying to further rationalize the whole situation out in my mind before I start. I’ve been friends with Arroyo for years. I have to accept the fact that I didn't tell him the truth soon enough. I shouldn't have let myself become hopeful or even go to that ceremony as anything more than a supportive friend. I’m still his friend, and I always will be. That should be enough. It will have to be. 

After a moment I finally settle on “I’ll try to, but I can't just turn off my feelings,”

“Right now your heart may ache, but tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that, it will hurt less and less. I’m here if you need to talk or Cass,” His voice is soft as he gives me one of those awkward gentle shoulder pats. In spite of myself, I smile. My brother was just not good at comforting people.

“Of course Orion,” I hug my big brother from the side and he presses a light kiss to the top of my head before slipping out of the room and leaving me with my thoughts.


End file.
